A revolution in resolutions - spoiler alert - you can't fail

How’s your New Year’s Eve resolution going? 

For many, we can feel the change of another year approaching on New Year’s Eve and reflect on what we have and haven’t done for the year that has been.

With this feeling, it is understandable that we can sense the new beginning and the opportunity for a fresh start, or a clean slate.

And hence the Resolution is often the result.

We get energised from the feeling of what could come from this journey of change that we are about to embark on.

Why is it that this energy that is so invigorating and motivating when we first decide to make a change quickly fizzles out, leaving our journey towards our resolution to become difficult to continue to activate?

Could it be from unreasonable expectations that we have placed on ourselves in the first instance? Was it a reasonable request, not just in terms of what we wanted to achieve but, more so, what timeframe did we place on it, as this is often what catches people out? Or could it be that each step that we take doesn’t always give us the result we wanted or expected, which disappoints us and leaves us feeling like we are failing?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I completely encourage everyone to go for it with setting goals for anything they truly feel will improve their lives. However, we need to be ready to accept the steps that present to us, without expectation of what they need to be.

Now this is the big one for many – they feel their journey towards their goal should look a certain way – but guess what – life happens.  And it only becomes very difficult and tiring when we start to try and control what this looks like and how it will go. 

We need to change the way we view our journey of change.

What does that look like, you may ask?

Set your goals, let them be, and then be prepared to take all the steps that you feel are the most supportive for you. 

What could these supportive steps look like? It’s what feels most settling for you to do in that moment. They may also not even look like they will actually get you to your goal. They may look like they are not even on topic!

You may ask why could steps that aren’t on topic assist the achievement of your goals? It’s called life. Many of us have hidden areas within our lives that are stopping us getting to our goals, including the nature of the goals we have set in the first instance – What?!

Yes. Often the goals we set are a cover for what we know deep down needs to change, even out of our conscious awareness. 

Here’s a real-life example:

You set a goal to exercise every day, and it starts out great and flows easy. 

Then you feel tired and you don’t feel to exercise much, if at all on the 4th day.

You feel like resting, but instead you make yourself go do an intense workout.  You feel worse after your workout and end up getting sick the next day.

Lesson learned – when your body feels tired, and you feel to do something different, maybe listen to it.  No fail but a goal achieved – strengthened body awareness that surrounds exercise and your true requirements. 

This is why it is important to go with the flow, keep your goal in mind, but don’t predetermine what your journey to improving your life should look like. Otherwise it can cause what I call “appearing to fail”.

Appearing to fail is when we are taking steps, and they don’t look like what we think they should, to get us to the goal we set, so we stop taking the steps and feel disheartened. We think we've failed at achieving our goal.

Ultimately, we never fail. Maybe “appearing to fail” can delay our journey, but even then we can reflect on the detour and learn an enriching lesson.

So it’s a win always.